I received an offer from a top American university.

——My Growth Experience

Xu Xinquan 2017.3.30

        Hello everyone, my name is Xu Xinquan. I will be studying abroad soon and have received admission letters from Virginia Tech, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, and Arizona State University. I am very happy and recall my growth experience in the past few years. Unforgettable scenes come to my mind. Therefore, I want to write down my study and life experience of more than four years at my uncle's place to share with you, and also to summarize my study experience in the past few years.

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 1. Chance

        Let me start with the topic of study, which is of concern to all parents. In the summer vacation of the second year of junior high school, I started studying at my uncle's school (now Feidu Education). Before that, I studied at Gaoxin Yicuiyuan School, which is a well-known school in the local area. Although I was only in the second year of junior high school, my math and Chinese scores were basically 70 or 80 points (out of 120 points). Even when I started the simplest physics course, I could only get about 50 points with all my strength. I was always at the bottom of the class in every exam. By chance, my father met Uncle Ding, so I started my study career with my uncle for more than four years.

        I first came to my uncle for guidance three days before the final exam of the second year of junior high school. I only stayed here for one afternoon, about 3 hours to study physics, and then took the final physics exam three days later. I still remember how I felt after the results came out. It was really unbelievable that my physics score increased from 53 points in the previous exam to 84 points (out of 100).

        Seeing my great improvement in grades, my parents decided to send me to study with my uncle. From then on, I began to think and understand all aspects of life in a new way. After about a year of study, in the 2012 high school entrance examination, my scores in Chinese, mathematics, English, physics and chemistry were all around 110 (out of 120), and physics and chemistry were close to full marks. Due to time constraints, my political history scores were slightly lower, and the final total score was 547. According to my previous learning level, I would not even be able to reach the ordinary high school line (480 points) in some subjects and around 70 points in others.

        Originally, this relatively good high school entrance examination result laid a good foundation for my choice of high school later. However, when choosing a high school, I did not follow my uncle's advice to go to Gaoxin No. 3 High School, which was a very good and practical school that could be attended at almost no cost. Instead, for my own face, I chose another more famous but unworthy school, and paid a high school selection fee for it. I left my uncle in the first year of high school. Although I developed some good habits with my uncle, I was unable to consolidate these good habits due to limited time. But even so, I completely changed a bad habit that has a great impact on the growth of girls - premature love.

        However, this alone was not enough! My life in the first year of high school gradually returned to the state before my uncle came to me in the second year of junior high school. In fact, due to my age, my life was even worse than before. Although I would adjust my mentality intentionally sometimes, I would generally return to sleeping in class, being unhappy all day, and wasting my time.

        At that time, my mental state was extremely bad. It was not until then that I realized what a big mistake it was not to listen to my uncle's advice, and began to regret the wrong decision to choose a school. But there is no regret medicine in the world. You can only bear the consequences of your own actions. Gaoxin No. 1 Middle School is a good school, but only for "good students" with good grades. The heavy academic pressure made me, a student who is not too smart and not too hardworking, feel suffocated. Gradually, skipping classes and sleeping in class became common, and there were many classmates around me who were at the same level as me who started to mix in society at an early age: smoking, drinking, fighting, and early love.

        As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. How could I make progress if I was with people of the same level? But I didn't realize this problem at the time, so I could only go with the flow. As you can imagine, my academic performance naturally plummeted. My scores in Chinese, math, and English were never higher than 60 (out of 120 points). Not to mention physics and chemistry, where 20 or 30 points were common, and my grades were at the bottom of the grade.

        God has mercy on me. When my condition was hopeless, my uncle returned to China. So my parents resolutely decided to send me to study here again. At that time, I had a deep hatred for domestic education in my heart. I vaguely felt that the things I learned in high school would not be of much use to my future, so I began to consider the possibility of studying abroad. After my parents talked with my uncle, they agreed to let me study abroad, so my study goal here at my uncle changed.

        I came back to my uncle's house again. Under his supervision and education, some bad habits I had in school were gradually corrected. My life and mentality became better again. My spirit was revived again. Life became colorful again in my eyes. After four and a half months of preparation, I took the TOEFL test for the first time. I scored 65 points in this test. Some people may not agree with my score, but I know that for me who often scored 20 to 30 points in English in school before, I was proud to achieve such a result in just four months, because I knew that I had embarked on a hopeful road. In the following period of time, I took the TOEFL several times, and each time I took the test, I improved to varying degrees: 9 points, 4 points, 5 points, and there was no regression or stagnation.

        I remember when I was studying with my uncle, a senior high school student who had been in the international class of Gaoxin No. 1 Middle School for three years came to our school. During his time at school, his TOEFL score was basically around 50 every time he took the test. Later, about half a year after he came to my uncle's school, his TOEFL score quickly improved to more than 80 points, and then he successfully applied to Columbia University in the United States. In less than half a year, I will go abroad to study. Now my heart is full of light and I am full of confidence in my future path. However, looking back on the past, I deeply feel that all of this is inseparable from the education I received from my uncle. In addition to the changes in my grades, I really want to share with you my feelings in other aspects.

2. Psychological changes

        When I was in junior high school, my academic performance was not good. Most of my classmates were at the same level as me or even worse than me. The pressure of studying made me physically and mentally exhausted, so I became more and more tired of studying. I didn’t want to go home after school at 6:30 every afternoon. I didn’t want to face my parents’ concerned and critical eyes, so I always dawdled on the short way home until 7:30 before going back. Sometimes when I was in a very bad mood, I even had the idea of jumping off the windowsill at home; my irritable and empty soul made me immerse myself in the fantasy and unhealthy novels on the mobile phone network all day long, allowing myself to escape from reality there. Sometimes I read online novels to the extent of reading them in class, taking breaks, and reading them in the middle of the night, or chatting with classmates almost every night until one or two o'clock or even all night long. The whole person is in the two states of reading the Internet and sleeping.

        In this state, I would do anything to cope with school assignments: get along well with class representatives, and even fall in love early just to copy homework. In high school, after all, I received education from my uncle for a period of time, so the situation was better, but only relatively better. I didn't have much self-discipline, and I was intrigued and fought with my classmates all day long. I had no time and no mind to study. Time just slipped away, and the days just passed. At that time, my whole body was empty, my eyes were empty, and it is no exaggeration to say that I was no different from a walking corpse at that time.

        Of course, the saddest thing is that my parents don’t know anything about my situation because they don’t understand their children’s psychology and education! They only see that I have a sullen face, a blank expression, poor academic performance and even poor health, but they don’t know what kind of suffering I am going through in my heart - pain and despair accompany me all the time! God has not given up on me, which is my greatest gratitude at this moment, because I have the opportunity to return to the place where I can muster the courage to be a good child and rekindle my hope for my future.

        During the time I was with my uncle, especially the last two and a half years, my mental state and thoughts have changed dramatically. When I first came here, I had almost no self-control, but by meditating for an hour and a half every day (of course there are other methods), I have thoroughly trained my self-control (because meditation is really painful, and it is not easy to persist). Although my self-control may not be as good as those of the truly excellent children, it has greatly improved compared to my past state. At the same time, due to meditation, regular work and rest and diet, and my increasingly healthy mentality and happier mood, my physical state has also changed a lot!

        My stomach wasn't very good when I was in middle school. Although I never went to the hospital for a checkup and I didn't tell my parents too much about this problem, it would hurt for a long time from time to time, which made me unable to eat. When I was hungry, I would buy snacks at school, which made me feel listless all day. Since I came to my uncle's place, my stomachache has naturally healed through meditation, and I have never had stomachache again. In addition, due to family hereditary reasons, I cough every winter and spring, often coughing so hard that I can't breathe and tears can be coughed out.

        After my uncle's training and conditioning, this problem was completely solved. After all, it was a family hereditary problem! My face turned blue in school, and now it is rosy and shiny. I am now a healthy child in the true sense. You can pay attention to the students in the school now. Many of them have blue or white faces. You can come to Feidu Education to see our children. They are all rosy-cheeked, energetic, and their eyes are full of joy and confidence!

        Secondly, my uncle not only taught me about learning, but also about traditional Chinese culture and true moral qualities. This made me understand why I should learn, how to establish my own life goals and realize my own ideals, how to adjust my mental state, and how to find my own faults when encountering problems and conflicts instead of complaining about others. I also understand that I should not do things that I should not do at my age, such as early love. Life is still long, and I must not do things that I will regret in the future. I must constantly improve my level now, and then the world I face and the level of people around me will be different.

        Through my uncle's constant teaching, I believe that I have gradually established a correct outlook on life and values, and I also know the true standard for distinguishing good from bad things, and I am no longer like in the past, without my own opinions, and I just follow the crowd! Now I will share with you how I overcame some of my psychological shortcomings: Before coming to my uncle, I had a strong sense of jealousy and showing off (the matter of choosing a high school is a serious lesson). It was not until later that I realized that these mentalities seriously affected my normal life. It often made me fall into a very unhappy state and unable to extricate myself (except sometimes looking at some not-so-good things on the Internet and indulging my desires). As long as there is something involving my personal interests or face, I always fight to the death, or my heart is always rolling like waves. Therefore, it is natural to go through a lot of inner pain to correct these problems.

       At the beginning, I didn't know how to reflect on myself. I would look for other people's problems when encountering anything, and never thought about my own problems. Under my uncle's continuous education, I gradually realized that I had these unhealthy mentalities. Later, I gradually learned to examine my heart, find out those particularly obvious and prominent problems, and change this problem from my heart. At the same time, I also established the concept that people must have faith from my uncle, and judge everything according to my own inner principles, rather than according to the ideas or opinions of others. Gradually, I changed the bad things in my heart and truly experienced what inner peace is; I will no longer complain about a small thing that does not meet my own ideas; when encountering a problem, I can always think about what I have not done well and why others do this. When I no longer care about it, my heart becomes calm and peaceful, and my mind becomes open.

        The time I spent with my uncle completely changed my way of thinking, and also changed the extreme parts of my character. From only knowing how to demand things from others for my own benefit and preferences, I have now become a person who reflects on my own problems and corrects them, and I have also experienced real happiness! Of course, every bit of my progress, especially my mental health, is also due to a very fair environment here with my uncle. No matter how big or small the matter is, no matter who he deals with, my uncle is absolutely fair and just, and never partial. So the children here are feeling more and more comfortable, and their hearts are getting healthier and healthier. Because we now know that a fair environment is the primary prerequisite for people's mental health. This is also something that other places cannot compare with my uncle's place, and other places simply cannot do it, because to achieve this, the quality of my uncle as an educator is extremely high.

3. Changes in Thought

        In addition to the changes in learning and psychology, I also had a huge change in my thinking at my uncle's place. At the beginning, I really didn't understand why I had to study and learn. Gradually, I realized that every book I read was for myself, not to tell others how many books I had read. Finally, I really understood the meaning of "If you don't work hard when you are young, you will regret it when you are old." When I first decided to study abroad, I could vaguely feel that my parents didn't understand or even agree with me. It was only because of my state at that time that they felt that there was no other way to go, so they reluctantly agreed to my idea. Even I had the same mentality as them at that time. But as I stayed at my uncle's place for a longer time, I really realized that my choice this time was absolutely right! Because I gradually realized how bad the education in China was.

        In this process, students gradually become either tools without independent ideas, without goals, and only know how to learn rigid knowledge, or students who form a wrong worldview. They gradually become people who have no sense of responsibility, do not know how to take into account the feelings of others (including parents), only consider themselves in everything, fight for everything, flatter for their own interests, and have no principles and moral standards. From a higher level, such people will not be happy in their lives, because they will never feel satisfied, so they will not feel real happiness. I have a deep understanding of the views I wrote above. In the past, when I was in school, there was really no day that I was truly happy or satisfied. I would want to get the next thing before I was happy for two minutes.

        When I was in Gaoxin No. 1 Middle School, there were many students around me who were good at studying but either had poor health or no morals. They did have good grades, but they were always comparing with others, comparing grades, competing for favors, comparing boyfriends and girlfriends, comparing food and clothing, but not comparing morality and faith. They were never satisfied in their hearts; but they didn't know where their future was. They only had illusory goals. But now I know where my future is, where my destination is, where I came from and where I am going. My heart is no longer wandering, but instead I have a solid sense of happiness.

        Nowadays, quite a number of parents send their children to study abroad out of helplessness (even including my parents), but in fact, from my current understanding, this is the most correct choice; choosing to study abroad does not require flattery; I can express my opinions freely without being restricted or dominated by the ideas of others. I study abroad not to escape the losers in the education system, nor for the so-called clean air and water abroad, nor for the topic of conversation when parents get together, but I can choose for a true spiritual freedom, to become an upright person with an independent personality, to be a truly dignified person.

        What has accompanied me for more than four years is the good habit of reading that I developed at my uncle's place. Of course, I don't read the popular online novels, but the history, humanities and other books written by real literary masters or writers with profound thoughts that purify the human spirit. At the beginning, I didn't like reading, but preferred to play with my phone or computer, but I couldn't get these things at my uncle's place. After a while, I gradually began to take the initiative to pick up books and read during my breaks.

        At first, I read one book a week or a week and a half (I was preparing for the high school entrance exam at that time). After I turned my goal to studying abroad, I had more time to read. On average, I read a book every two to three days. So far, I have read at least more than 100 major works. Among them are a large number of Chinese and English novels, English magazines and English original masterpieces. In the process of reading, my heart was also changed little by little, and gradually established my current way of thinking. Of course, I know that if it weren't for my uncle, I might never really calm down and read a book that is meaningful to my life, nor would I develop the habit of reading that will affect my life.

4. Comparison with peers

       My uncle once said: "Children who decide to go abroad and stay here have made the most correct decision, and even taken the shortcut in life." I didn't have a deep understanding of what my uncle said before, so I just understood it at a very low level. After applying for the school this time, I found it to be true. Although I don't have much contact with my former classmates, I also know the situation of some of my former classmates through the stories of my parents and others: there are two classmates who used to have a good relationship with me. They were top students in school. In terms of school grades, I couldn't compare with them at all. After graduating from high school, they chose to go to Xi'an Jiaotong-Liverpool University. There is also a classmate who ranked among the top in Xi'an in junior high school and high school, and he applied to the same university in the United States as me. They are even a few beats slower than me: their thoughts, morals, thinking ability, English, their reading, their survival ability and even their physical condition, I think it is difficult for me to compare with them.

       Some of my classmates who were at the same level as me have left school and entered the society. Some people may think that they have taken the college entrance examination after all, which has given them more experience in life and also strengthened their spirit of hard work and willpower, but things cannot be simply viewed in this way. I did not take the college entrance examination, but I don’t think I have anything less than those children of the same age. While they were "studying hard" textbooks that I thought were of little value, I was following the normal routine and normal study progress at my uncle's place, and I was healthy and did not fall behind in my studies. At the same time, in terms of reading that is really helpful to a person's future, I believe that the amount of reading I have done in the past few years is unmatched by any student in school, and the resulting differences in thinking style and world view are incomparable. At the same time, I am constantly preparing for life abroad: learning to cook, manage finances, interact with people, exercise self-control, hone willpower, learn how to manage time by myself, etc.

        In other words, I am constantly improving my abilities, correcting my shortcomings, and making myself more perfect. These are things that students studying in domestic high schools or even in international departments simply cannot accomplish.

        As for training my willpower, meditation, standing... these traditional Chinese exercises at my uncle's place not only helped me train my body, but also improved my willpower. My classmates at school, on the other hand, went to bed at 2 or 3 o'clock every night and had to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning; they had irregular meals, no regular exercise and rest time. In the short term, it would not have a big impact, but over time, after three years of high school, some people completely collapsed.

        If you have consumed too much energy too early, how can you still have the mood to cope with university studies? The heavy schoolwork seems to have honed your willpower, but the price is either physical collapse or mental collapse. Compared with my current state, are they really worth it? Is this really more meaningful? Not necessarily! In addition, as far as I know, a considerable number of parents and students in China hold this idea: study hard now, and after passing the college entrance examination and entering university, you can do whatever you want. So after experiencing the "precious life experience" of the college entrance examination, students begin to indulge themselves: skipping classes in college, visiting Internet cafes, smoking, drinking, and mixing in society, because they have overdrawn too much of their energy on the "great" goal of the college entrance examination in the previous twelve years. What will support their long life in the future?

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V. Conclusion

        As for what I did and experienced at my uncle's place, as well as my previous and current status at school, even my parents know very little, because my uncle has always adhered to the life philosophy of "do more and talk less".

        The time I spent with my uncle over the past few years has helped me become a child with life goals, my own inner code of conduct, the ability to think independently, the correct standards of right and wrong, a healthy mentality, and the ability to learn and interact with others. Looking back now, I am really glad that I came to my uncle and received education. If it weren't for my uncle, I would never have imagined where I would be now and what I would become, because the environment and state I was in were so bad!

        Before I enter the next stage of my life, I will review and summarize my own experience and leave it to future students and parents. I want to tell the children who are coming here that you will be the happiest people in the world, because as I grow older, I really understand the purpose of education here. I am really grateful for the education I received from my uncle, because it really changed my life.

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Teacher Ding’s comments:

        When Xinquan gave me a review of her experience, I didn't expect it to be such an 8,000-word article. Xinquan is actually a smart child. Looking at her summary of her growth experience and my educational philosophy in words, I was deeply moved by this child who usually doesn't talk much. As a teacher who has been with her day and night for more than 4 years, I can only silently wish the child: stick to your faith, stick to morality, and become a truly happy person!