As expected, I received an offer from a top American university.

As expected, I received an offer from a top American university.

——My Growth Experience

Xu Xinquan 2017.3.30

        Hello everyone, my name is Xu Xinquan. I will be studying abroad soon. I have received acceptance letters from Virginia Tech, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, and Arizona State University. In my joy, I recall my growth experience over the past few years, and unforgettable scenes come to my mind. Therefore, I want to write down my learning and living experience for more than four years at my uncle's place to share with you, and also to make a summary of my learning experience over the past few years.

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 1. Opportunity

        Let me start with the study that parents are concerned about. In the summer vacation of the second year of junior high school, I started studying at my uncle's place (now Feidu Education). Before that, I studied at Gaoxin Yicuiyuan School, which is a very famous school in the local area. Although I was only in the second year of junior high school, my math and Chinese scores were basically 70 or 80 points (out of 120 points). Even in the simplest physics course content at the beginning, I could only get about 50 points with all my efforts. I was always at the bottom of the class in every exam. By chance, my father met Uncle Ding, so I started my study career at my uncle's place, which lasted for more than four years.

        I first came to my uncle for instruction three days before my second-year final exam. I only spent one afternoon here, about three hours studying physics, and then took the final physics exam three days later. I still remember how I felt after the results came out. It was really unbelievable that my physics score improved from 53 points in the previous exam to 84 points (out of 100).

        Seeing my great improvement in grades, my parents decided to send me to study with my uncle. This opened up a new way of thinking and understanding about all aspects of life. After about a year of study, in the 2012 high school entrance examination, my scores in Chinese, mathematics, English, physics and chemistry were all around 110 (full score 120), and physics and chemistry were close to full marks. Due to time constraints, my political history scores were slightly lower, and the final total score was 547. According to my previous learning level, I would have scored around 70 or 50 in each subject, and I would not even be able to reach the ordinary high school line (480 points).

        Originally, this relatively good high school entrance examination result laid a good foundation for my later choice of high school. However, when choosing a high school, I did not follow my uncle's advice to go to Gaoxin No. 3 High School, which was a very good and practical school that could be attended for almost no fee. Instead, for my own face, I chose another school that was more famous but not worthy of its reputation, and paid a very high school selection fee. I left my uncle's place in the first year of high school. Although I developed some good habits at my uncle's place, I was unable to consolidate these good habits due to limited time. But even so, I completely changed a bad habit that has a great impact on the growth of girls - premature love.

        However, this was not enough! My life in the first year of high school gradually returned to the state before my uncle came to me in the second year of junior high school, and even worse than before due to my age. Although I would sometimes deliberately adjust my mentality, in general, I returned to the state of sleeping in class, being unhappy all day, and wasting my time.

        At that time, my mental state was extremely bad. It was not until then that I realized what a big mistake it was not to listen to my uncle's advice, and began to regret the wrong decision of choosing a school. But there is no medicine for regret in the world. You can only bear the consequences of your own actions. Gaoxin No. 1 Middle School is a good school, but only for "good students" with good grades. The heavy academic pressure made me, a student who was not too smart or too hardworking, feel suffocated. Gradually, skipping classes and sleeping in class became common, and many classmates around me who were similar to me started to mix in society at an early age: smoking, drinking, fighting, and premature love.

        As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. How could I make progress if I was with people of the same level? But I didn't realize this problem at the time, so I just went with the flow. As you can imagine, my academic performance plummeted. My scores in Chinese, math and English were never higher than 60 (out of 120), not to mention physics and chemistry. It was common for me to get 20 or 30 points. My grades were at the bottom of the class.

        God has mercy on me. When my condition was hopeless, my uncle returned to China. So my parents resolutely decided to send me to study with my uncle again. At that time, I had a deep hatred for domestic education in my heart. I felt that what I learned in high school would not be of much use to my future, so I began to consider the possibility of studying abroad. After my parents talked with my uncle, they agreed to let me study abroad, so my goal of studying with my uncle changed.

        After returning to my uncle's house, under his supervision and education, some of the bad habits I had developed in school were gradually corrected. My life and mentality became better again, and my spirit was revived. Life became colorful again in my eyes. After four and a half months of preparation, I took the TOEFL test for the first time. I scored 65 points in this test. Some people may not think much of my score, but I know that for me who often scored 20 to 30 points in English in school before, I was proud to achieve such a score in just four months, because I knew that I had embarked on a road full of hope. In the following period of time, I took the TOEFL several times, and each time I took the test, I improved to varying degrees: 9 points, 4 points, 5 points, and there was no regression or stagnation.

        I remember when I was studying with my uncle, a senior student who had been in the international class of Gaoxin No. 1 Middle School for three years came to our school. During his time at school, he scored about 50 in TOEFL every time he took the test. After about half a year of studying with my uncle, his TOEFL score quickly improved to more than 80 points, and he was successfully admitted to Columbia University in the United States. In less than half a year, I will go abroad to study. Now my heart is full of light and I am full of confidence in my future path. However, looking back on the past, I deeply feel that all of this is inseparable from the education I received from my uncle. In addition to the changes in my grades here, I really want to share with you my feelings in other aspects.

2. Psychological Changes

        When I was in junior high school, my academic performance was not good. Most of my classmates were at the same level as me or even worse than me. The pressure of studying made me physically and mentally exhausted, so I became more and more disgusted with studying. I was reluctant to go home after school at 6:30 pm every day. I didn’t want to face the concerned and critical eyes of my parents, so I always dawdled on the short way home until 7:30. Sometimes when I was in a very bad mood, I even wanted to jump off the window sill at home. My restless and empty soul made me immerse myself in the illusory and unhealthy novels on the mobile phone network all day long, allowing myself to find escape from reality there. Sometimes I read online novels to the extent of reading in class, during breaks, and in the middle of the night, or chatting with classmates through text messages almost every night until one or two o'clock or even all night long. I am in a state of looking at the Internet and sleeping.

        In this state, I would do anything to cope with schoolwork: get along well with class representatives, and even fall in love early just to be able to copy homework. In high school, after all, I received education from my uncle for a period of time, so the situation was better, but only relatively better. I didn't have much self-restraint, and I followed my own temper. I was scheming and fighting with my classmates all day long. I had no time and no heart to study. Time just slipped away, and the days just passed. At that time, my whole body was empty, my eyes were empty, and it was no exaggeration to say that I was no different from a walking corpse at that time.

        Of course, the saddest thing is that my parents don’t know anything about my situation because they don’t understand their children’s psychology and education! They only see that I have a sullen face, a blank expression, poor academic performance and even poor health. They don’t know what kind of suffering I am going through in my heart - pain and despair are always with me! God has not given up on me. This is my greatest gratitude at this moment, because I have the opportunity to return to the place that allows me to muster up the courage to be a good child and rekindle my hope for my future.

        During the time I was with my uncle, especially the last two and a half years, my mental state and thoughts underwent a tremendous change. When I first came here, I had almost no self-control, but by meditating for an hour and a half every day (of course there were other methods as well), I was able to thoroughly train my self-control (because meditation really hurts, and it is not easy to persist). Although my self-control may not be as good as those of the truly outstanding children, it has greatly improved compared to my past state. At the same time, due to meditation, regular work and rest and diet, and my increasingly healthy mind and happier mood, my physical state has also changed greatly!

        My stomach was not very good when I was in junior high school. Although I never went to the hospital for a checkup and I didn't tell my parents too much about this problem, it would hurt for a long time from time to time, which made me unable to eat. When I was hungry, I would buy snacks at school, which made me feel listless all day. Since I came to my uncle's place, my stomachache has naturally healed through meditation, and I have never had stomachache again. In addition, because of family genetic reasons, I cough every winter and spring, often coughing so hard that I can't breathe and tears can be coughed out.

        After my uncle's training and treatment, this problem was completely solved. After all, it was a family hereditary problem! My face, which was blue when I was in school, has become rosy and shiny. Now I am a healthy child in the true sense. You can pay attention to the students in the school now. A considerable number of them have blue or white faces. And you can come to Feidu Education to see our children. They all have rosy faces, are full of energy, and their eyes are full of happiness and confidence!

        Secondly, my uncle not only taught me about Chinese traditional culture and true moral character, which made me understand why I should learn, how to establish my own life goals and realize my own ideals, how to adjust my mental state, and how to find my own faults when encountering problems and conflicts instead of complaining about others. I also understand that I should not do things that I should not do at my age, such as falling in love early. Life is still long, and I must not do things that I will regret in the future. I must constantly improve my level now, and then the world I face and the level of people around me will be different.

        Through my uncle's constant teaching, I firmly believe that I have gradually established a correct outlook on life and values, and I also know the true standard for distinguishing good from bad things, and I am no longer like in the past, without my own opinions and just following the crowd! Now I will share with you how I overcame some of my psychological shortcomings: Before coming to my uncle, I had a strong sense of jealousy and showing off (the matter of choosing a high school was a serious lesson). It was not until later that I realized that these psychological factors seriously affected my normal life. It often made me fall into a very unhappy state and unable to extricate myself (except sometimes looking at some not-so-good things on the Internet and indulging my desires). As long as there is something involving my personal interests or face, I always fight to the death, or my heart is always rolling like waves. Therefore, correcting these problems naturally requires going through a lot of inner pain.

       At first, I didn't know how to reflect on myself. Whenever I encountered anything, I would look for other people's problems and never think about my own problems. Under my uncle's constant education, I gradually realized that I had these unhealthy mentalities. Later, I gradually learned to examine my heart, find out those particularly obvious and prominent problems, and change these problems from my heart. At the same time, my uncle also established the concept that people must have faith, and judge everything according to the criteria in my heart, rather than according to the ideas or opinions of others. Gradually, I changed the bad things in my heart and truly realized what inner peace is; I will no longer complain about a small thing that does not meet my own ideas; when encountering a problem, I can always think about what I have not done well and why others do this. When I stop caring, my heart becomes calm and peaceful, and my mind becomes open.

        The time I spent with my uncle completely changed my way of thinking, and also changed the extreme part of my character. I used to only know how to make demands on others for my own interests and preferences, but now I have become a person who reflects on my own problems and corrects them. I have also experienced true happiness! Of course, every bit of my progress, especially my mental health, is also due to the very fair environment here at my uncle. No matter how big or small the matter is, no matter who he deals with, my uncle is absolutely fair and impartial, and never partial. So the children here are feeling more and more comfortable and their hearts are getting healthier. Because we now know that a fair environment is the first prerequisite for people's mental health. This is also a place where other places cannot compare with my uncle's place, and other places simply cannot do it, because to achieve this, the quality of my uncle as an educator is extremely high.

3. Changes in Thought

        In addition to the changes in learning and psychology, I also had a huge change in my thinking when I was with my uncle. At the beginning, I really didn't understand why I had to study and learn. Gradually, I realized that every book I read was for myself, not to tell others how much I had read. Finally, I really understood the meaning of "If you don't work hard when you are young, you will regret it when you are old." When I first decided to study abroad, I could vaguely feel that my parents didn't understand or even agree with it. It was only because of my situation at the time that they felt that there was no other way to go, so they agreed to my idea helplessly. Even I had the same mentality as them at the time. But as I stayed with my uncle for longer and longer, I finally realized that my choice was absolutely right! Because I gradually realized how bad the education in my country is.

        In this process, students gradually become either without their own opinions, without goals, and only know how to learn rigid knowledge, or they develop a wrong worldview. They gradually become irresponsible, do not know how to care about the feelings of others (including their parents), only consider themselves in everything, fight for everything, flatter and fawn for their own interests, and have no principles and moral standards. From a higher level, such people will not be happy in their lives, because they will never feel satisfied, so they will not feel real happiness. I have a deep understanding of the views I wrote above. When I was in school, there was never a single day when I was truly happy or satisfied. I would get something and within two minutes of being happy, I would be looking for the next thing.

        When I was in Gaoxin No. 1 Middle School, there were many students around me who were good at studying but either had poor health or had no morals. Their grades were indeed okay, but they were always comparing with others, comparing grades, competing for favors, comparing boyfriends and girlfriends, comparing food and clothing, but not comparing morality and faith. They were never satisfied in their hearts; but they didn't know where their future was. They only had illusory goals. Now I know where my future is, where my destination is, where I came from and where I am going. My heart is no longer wandering, but is replaced by a solid sense of happiness.

        Nowadays, many parents have no choice but to send their children to study abroad (even including my parents), but in fact, from my current understanding, this is the most correct choice; choosing to study abroad does not require flattery; I can express my opinions freely without being restricted or dominated by the ideas of others. I study abroad not to escape the losers in the education system, nor for the so-called clean air and water abroad, nor for topics for parents to talk about when they chat together, but because I can choose to have spiritual freedom in the true sense, to become an upright person with an independent personality, and to be a truly dignified person.

        What has been with me for more than four years is the good habit of reading that I developed at my uncle's place. Of course, it is not some random online novels that are popular on the Internet, but books about history, humanities, and other things that purify the human spirit written by real literary masters or writers with profound thoughts. At the beginning, I didn't like reading, but preferred playing with mobile phones or computers, but these things were impossible to touch at my uncle's place. After a while, I gradually began to take the initiative to pick up books and read during breaks.

        At first, I read one book a week or a week and a half (I had to prepare for the high school entrance examination at that time). After I turned my goal to studying abroad, I had more time and the time to read increased greatly. On average, I read one book every two to three days. So far, I have read at least more than 100 major works. Among them are a large number of Chinese and English novels, English magazines and English original masterpieces. In the process of reading, my heart was also changed little by little, and gradually established my current way of thinking. Of course, I know that if it weren’t for my uncle, I might never really sit down and read a book that is meaningful to my life, nor would I develop the habit of reading that will affect my life.

4. Comparison with peers

       My uncle once said, "Children who decide to go abroad and stay here have made the right decision, and even taken a shortcut in life." I didn't have a deep understanding of what my uncle said before, so I just understood it at a very low level. After applying to the school this time, I found that it was true. Although I don't have much contact with my former classmates, I also learned about some of my former classmates through my parents and others: there were two classmates who had a good relationship with me before, and their grades in school were top-notch. In terms of school grades alone, I couldn't compare with them at the time. After graduating from high school, they chose to go to Xi'an Jiaotong-Liverpool University. There was also a classmate who was among the top students in Xi'an in junior high school and high school, and he applied to the same university in the United States as me. They are even a few steps behind me: their thoughts, morals, thinking ability, English, reading, survival ability and even their physical condition are difficult for me to compare with.

       Some of my classmates who were at the same level as me have already left school and entered the society. Some people may think that they have taken the college entrance examination, which has given them more experience in life and also strengthened their hard work and willpower, but things cannot be simply viewed in this way. I did not take the college entrance examination, but I don’t think I am missing anything compared to those children of the same age. While they were "studying hard" by burning the midnight oil on textbooks which I considered to be of little value, I was following a normal schedule and studying at my uncle's place, making progress step by step every day, without falling behind in either my health or my studies. At the same time, as far as reading is truly helpful to a person's future, I believe that the amount of reading I have done in the past few years is unmatched by any other student in school, and the resulting differences in my way of thinking and world view are even more incomparable. At the same time, I was constantly preparing for life abroad: learning how to cook, manage finances, interact with people, exercise self-control, strengthen willpower, learn how to manage my time, and so on.

        In other words, I am constantly improving my abilities, correcting my shortcomings, and making myself more perfect. These are things that students studying in domestic high schools or even in international departments cannot accomplish at all.

        As for training my willpower, meditation, standing on a pole... these traditional Chinese exercises I practiced here with my uncle not only helped me train my body, but also improved my willpower. My classmates at school went to bed at 2 or 3 a.m. every night and had to get up at 6 a.m.; they had irregular meals, no regular exercise or rest time. In the short term, it wouldn't have a big impact, but over time, after three years of high school, some people completely collapsed.

        If you consume too much energy too early, how can you have the mood to cope with college studies later? The heavy workload seems to have honed your willpower, but the price is either physical collapse or mental collapse. Compared with my current state, are they really worth it? Is this really more meaningful? Not necessarily! In addition, as far as I know, a considerable number of parents and students in China have this idea: study hard now, and after passing the college entrance examination and entering college, you can do whatever you want. So after going through this "precious life experience" of the college entrance examination, students begin to indulge themselves: skipping classes, visiting Internet cafes, smoking, drinking, and hanging out in society. This is because they have overdrawn too much of their energy on this "great" goal of the college entrance examination in the previous twelve years. What will support them in the long life ahead?

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5. Conclusion

        As for what I did and experienced at my uncle's place, as well as my previous and current status in school, even my parents knew very little, because my uncle always adhered to the life philosophy of doing more and talking less.

        The time I spent with my uncle over the past few years has helped me become a child with a goal in life, my own inner code of conduct, the ability to think independently, the correct standards of right and wrong, a healthy mentality, and the ability to learn and interact with others. Looking back now, I am really glad that I came to my uncle and received education. If it weren't for my uncle, I can't imagine where I would be now and what I would become? Because the environment and state I was in were so bad!

        Before I move on to the next stage of my life, I will review my experiences and summarize them for future students and parents. I want to tell the children who are coming here that you will be the happiest people in the world, because as I grow older, I really understand the purpose of my uncle's education. I am really grateful for the education I received from my uncle, because it really changed my life.

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Teacher Ding’s comments:

        When Xinquan gave me a review of her experience, I didn't expect it to be such a lengthy article of nearly 8,000 words. Xinquan is actually a smart child on the inside but clumsy on the outside. Seeing her summarize her growth experience and my educational philosophy in words, I was deeply moved by this child who usually doesn't talk much. As a teacher who has been with her day and night for more than 4 years, I can only silently wish her: stick to your faith, stick to your morality, and become a truly happy person!